Ten Terrible Science Jokes

10 Terrible Science Jokes

10 Terrible Science Jokes


1. There are 1 0 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

2. Why did Mrs. Smith go outside with her purse open? She heard there was going to be some change in the weather.

3. What kind of cylinder had a college diploma? A graduated cylinder.


Girl, You're Negative


4. The nurse told a story about an angry bunny proctologist. It was a hare raising tail.

5. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk.

6. What holds the sun up in the sky? Sunbeams!

I'm everything like the sun.

I’m like the sun.


7. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t Helium and you can’t Curium, then you might as well Barium.

8. What do you call a dinosaur that had a car crash? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

9. A chemist and her boyfriend walked into a bar. The chemist said, “I’ll just have some H2O for right now”. Her boyfriend said, “I’ll have some H2O too!” Sadly, her boyfriend died.

10. The mushroom was the life of the pizza party because he was a fungi.


Physics Bird



What are your favorite science related jokes? What about math, history, or language jokes?

51 thoughts on “Ten Terrible Science Jokes

  1. I just came here from the after party, well I left a like when your post went up, and I remember some of the jokes but not all. I guess I remember the ones I found the funniest 🙂

  2. I’m so glad I found this post! I love these kind of jokes, and I too had a teacher who enjoyed to keep us on our toes with a bad joke or two (he was an English teacher). My favourite of the science jokes is the sunbeams – it’s sickly sweet! In honour of my teacher I’d like to leave a language joke – What do you say when comforting a grammar Nazi…’there, their, they’re’ Terrible, I know! 🙂

  3. The graduated cylinder one was my favorite. I’d heard almost all the others–my chemistry teacher in high school LOVED puns/jokes about science.

    • My fourth graders always rolled their eyes at me and giggled at me. The graduated cylinder was always one they actually laughed at. I tried to keep my terrible jokes/puns to a minimum because I didn’t want them to overdose on all that awesomeness.

  4. Haha, for math jokes, I have too many of them to choose a favorite 🙂

    For science, here’s one.

    If a monkey fell of a tree instead of an apple while Newton was there, I’m sure that he would have discovered “the Origin of Species” instead of the laws of gravity 🙂

    btw, my latest post involves the “two kinds of people” quote…

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