Hello, my name is K. Renae P., and I am addicted to scarves, scarf tying, and scarf tying videos.
It all started so innocently. A few years ago I was just a precious, naive non-scarf wearer. So pompous was I in those formative years. In my head, I called those fancily tied scarf wearing degenerates things like hippies, hipsters, beatniks, or poseurs. Young or old, it didn’t matter. I thought-attacked them with my taunts. Young man with a ZZ Top beard and a waterfall tied scarf? Lame-berjack! Older lady in her tender years with a sloppy but cute infinity tied scarf? Hot Tamale!*
Then, I received a scarf as a Christmas gift. There was a card that gave suggestions on different ways to tie the scarf. That was my gateway drug. I was immediately hooked.
So, I bought a couple of other scarves. Scarves soon became the go to gift for me from my friends, family, and even my precious students. They knew I loved scarves, and they just wanted me to be happy. Unfortunately, this enabling only worsened by obsession. I watched videos constantly. I needed to find the best tie for my scarves based on the length, width, and color or pattern. I was (am) out of control!
I knew my friends, family, and students loved me, but they had no clue how bad I was. They were unknowingly encouraging my problem. Wearing scarves in a Louisiana summer? Walking around with a scarf on my head and sunglasses on my face whilst I tried to act like I’m some dapper chick from the 50s and 60s? What was wrong with me!?
My friends started posting scarf tying videos to my Facebook wall. Did you know when you share a video on Facebook, you can also see all the comments from the original poster’s status update? That introduced me to an entire community of scarf tying enthusiasts. Many of us were hardcore addicts. I began losing time looking at my fellow addicts’ scarf boards on Pintrest. I would envy other people’s scarves and their tying techniques. I just couldn’t help myself.
I’m not going to lie. I’ve had some scarf-related snafus. A few times my scarf got caught in a door and choked myself. I’ve often sat on my scarves wrong and choked myself. I’ve had scarves accidentally fall into toilets and food. Sometimes scarves got tangled up in my big earrings, and that led to issues. Once I bought a precious scarf made out of a material similar to burlap. That scarf gave me a horrible rash. I had a fuzzy scarf that kept shedding and tickling my nose. I sneezed all day, but refused to take it off. It looked like braided peacock; it was adorable!
I would like to tell you I’m better now. I would like to tell you I’m over this dirty scarf spiral. I can’t though because those are lies. I guess I haven’t hit rock bottom yet.
*Very obscure reference from the book, Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.